The Slow Road to Despair
by pervertmonster
Summary: The story of how one man tried to save the students of 2-F while fighting the sins of his past. A more serious story of SZS, based mostly off the manga with some bits of the anime.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! Hope you enjoy this new story of mine! **

**I usually write fanfics over in the One Piece section, but after reading and watching SZS, I find myself in despair! The ending of this series has left me in despair!**

**I really enjoyed SZS, and I was actually kinda satisfied with the dark twisty ending. I know this ended a while ago, but I really wanted to write a story about this series because, well, I just do that sort of thing. **

**The main character of this story is actually not Nozomu, but he is involved. And pairings? Well, I think most of the girls and Nozomu would be what I would put, but if I actually get farther into this story, I could explain it better. **

**And to anyone from my One Piece stories reading this wondering why the first thing I post in a long time is this, it's because things happened. I'm almost done with a chapter of "A Different Take" and I'll explain more there. **

**Without further ranting from me, I hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**I do not own Sayonara, Zetsubo-sensei as that belongs to Koji Kumeta and anyone else it belongs to. **

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><p>"Are you sure that you want to do this?" The man asked his friend as they stood before a strange classroom. The halls were dark and desolate this late at night, though they would probably remain that way for a long time. The door they stood before had a ominous dark purple glow peeking in through the cracks, but one of the men held the handle, ready to open the door to enter the room.<p>

The man about to enter the room wore a strange kimono and his friend had a white coat with a stethoscope hanging around his neck. Despite looking alike, one gave off the aura of absolute despair and the other had a darkness around him.

"This...this is the only way." He answered, eyes focused on the glow that seemed almost alive, growing in intensity, as if excited that the man would enter the classroom

"No. It isn't, and you know that." The man with the white coat said as he put his hand on the man's shoulder in an attempt to coerce the man to back away from the door, "These students...they gave up their lives when they committed suicide. We know that An's," The kimono clad man flinched at the name, "blood keeps them alive...but they're abominations. They should be put down-"

"Everyone makes mistakes, Mikoto. They were young and foolish...and they deserve a second chance."

"And do you think An deserves a second chance as well?"

The man flinched at the name once more, but only tightened his grip on the handle.

"Please...this is the only thing I will do for them. Allow me to help them, Mikoto."

Mikoto stared at the other man. What seemed like minutes passed by before he sighed, letting go of the other man.

"Just...just stay safe. Even though An prevented them from passing over to the other side, she was like a door. Demons and spirits passed through, but we contained them all in that room."

He stepped back, seeing the other man give him a small smile.

"Thank you...for allowing me to do this." He pulled the door open a bit, allowing a slit of purple light to shine through the opening.

"Just don't make me regret this..." He watched the other man open the door fully and be consumed by the purple light within before the door closed shut.

"...Enishi."

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><p>Her smile was a beacon of warmth and happiness, innocent to all evil in the world. He even felt the eternal despair that lingered within him wither in the face of this force of serenity.<p>

"Nonsense! Nobody could ever commit suicide on such a beautiful day! You were merely..." She paused, putting a finger to her lips, wearing that eternally beautiful smile.

Her voice seemed to sing out her words, filling him with satisfaction and bliss. Nobody in the world could ever forsake this moment...

_He cried out in horror at her bloody body lying in the street. Her once beautiful smile reduced to a agonizing pain filled face that cried out for his help. _

"_Please...help me..." _

**YOUR FAULT **

"_...It hurts..." Blood escaped her lips onto the road, her coughs deafening all other noise around him. _

**HER PAIN**

"_Hold on! Y-You'll be alright, An!" _

"_I-I...I don't want to die..." _

**HER SUFFERING**

"_Tell...tell Nozomu that I...I..."_

"_No! Stay with me, An!" _

**HER...**

"_.l..o..v..e...h...i...m..." Her voice died slowly to nothing more than a whisper as the life left her. _

**DESPAIR!**

"...Trying to grow taller!"

He was brought out of the memory by her innocent voice. The pain that he had remembered was gone, replaced with the joy of a beautiful day.

Her eyes were filled with life that had disappeared on that fateful day. The day that he would regret for the rest of his life.

"...Excuse me?" He asked in a fake exasperated tone. He knew why she would give him an answer like that, for he knew that she could never think anything in a negative light.

It wasn't because she chose to be positive, but because she could only be positive. It was just who she was now.

He carefully listened to her story about how her parents always tried to grow taller after something bad would happen. It seemed that she didn't remember how she had found them both dead, hanging from the ceiling one morning before she came to the Itoshiki house.

Either that, or she chose to remember it this way. It didn't matter though. The past was the past, and he wasn't here to repair that trauma.

He quickly left, claiming that he was actually trying to die. He knew that it would make the girl think, but she would still not understand how he had tried to kill himself.

In a way, he really was killing himself, though hanging wasn't the poison that was stealing his life away.

No matter what, he would save these kids from their terrible mistake.

He just hoped he could hold off the despair in his soul and the ghost known as Kafuka Fu'ura.

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><p><strong>I know it's a short chapter, but I didn't want to type too much to start off. I'm not sure if this story will even break the 20k mark, but I hope it'll be entertaining no matter how long it is!<strong>

**You may ask me questions regarding the character, but I'll just say this. Yes, the main character is Enishi, but Nozomu will be introduced later on. Also, none of this may make sense, but that's usually how I write...**

**Whatever! See you next chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone! Here's a new chapter for you to enjoy!**

**It's been a while since I've posted this story, but I had the chapter written for a while. I was just lazy.**

**I don't completely understand Japanese culture and mannerisms, so forgive my ignorance. **

**To those that read my other stories, I'm going to post another chapter to "A Different Take" in some time. I already got some of it written up (on paper), so I just have to check facts, type it up, make sure that everything fits and hope for the best. **

**I do not own Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei as that belongs to its respective owners. **

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><p>"Get Out!" She shouted from within her dark room, behind the door that had been locked shut by the insane number of chains.<p>

"Please, Komori-san! All I ask is that you come to school for at least one day-!"

"You're one demanding asshole! Go die, you goddamn bastard!"

Her father began to bang on the door, telling the girl that she should apologize to her teacher, but he was met with serious and hurtful insults.

The teacher stood back and looked at the scene with a hand held against his head. From what the father had told him, she was a sweet and quiet child who cared strongly about others. Instead, Komori had become his worst nightmare, being a horrible harpy and keeping him from the rest of the class.

**DESPAIR**

Shaking his head, he willed the thoughts away so he could deal with the problem at hand. Unfortunately, he was unable to get the hikikomori to leave her room, so he would give up for now before he would try again.

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><p>Mikoto watched the other man stumble into the empty cafeteria, taking a sip out of the cup he held in his hand. The man took a seat next to the doctor, sighing before letting his forehead fall to the table with an audible thump.<p>

"Hard day?" Mikoto watched the man carefully, trying to diagnose anything serious.

He got a low groaning in response.

"I'll take that as a yes." The doctor said, taking another sip.

The two sat in silence, light snoring erupting from the man while Mikoto waited patiently as the man slept.

With a start, the man woke up. His head rose from the table, revealing the dark bags under his eyes.

"...Is there anything to drink?" The man asked, pointing at the cup Mikoto held.

"Only the coffee I brought from my office. There's nothing in the cabinets or refrigerator." The doctor explained as he lifted a thermos.

"What kind is it?"

"Black."

"Ugh...I'll have some."

Mikoto poured some into the top and handed it to him. The bitter liquid made the man cringe, and the heat burned at his sensitive tongue, but he relished the sting of both.

"Why is it..." Raising an eye to Mikoto, the man lowered the top, "That you seclude yourself in this lonely place?"

"You know why, Mikoto."

"I know why you have to do this, but I just don't understand why you would want to."

Mikoto put his elbows on the table to lean against it while he stared at the men.

"You could seal them so that they wouldn't be as free as they are. You could...put them in comas and trap them in their own mind." The doctor paused as he saw the scowl he was receiving, "Alright, whatever. If this is how you want to do it, fine."

"Don't be upset, Mikoto."

"Now that's impossible. My brother is slowly killing himself for people that have already given up on life."

"Don't insult them like that!" The man, in a sudden burst of movement, rose from his seat, "You know damn well why I want to save them! Sure, they killed themselves, but they...they..." The man lowered his voice, realizing that he had been screaming at his brother, who leveled a critical eye at him, "...They went through situations where they felt trapped and alone. Situations...where they fell to despair...and were unable to pull themselves out."

"This is about Nozomu, isn't it?"

"...Sometimes, we may make decisions without considering the consequences..."

"Enishi, he made a poor decision, but he's-"

"Then, as his older brother, I'll correct it." The man said as he turned to leave.

"Hey! Enishi!" Mikoto rose to stop the man, but he was already leaving the cafeteria.

"Whatever you're planning, it's wrong! The dead and the living should not be in such close contact!" The doctor's voice was far away, and the man could barely hear him.

The man glanced down the hall where he had left his brother. The purple glow shined brightly beneath the door, beckoning him to enter.

"I'm afraid...that it might be too late for me..."

The door was opened and he was once again, consumed by the light as the door closed behind him.

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><p>"So, why did you try to kill yourself today?"<p>

The man looked into the woman's eyes, and despite her cool and calm demeanor, he could see actual interest in those amber orbs of hers.

"I...I fell into despair because the world is controlled by money..." He answered, knowing how she would respond and what she would ask of him.

They continued their discussion, Chie-sensei eventually telling him to go get Komori while giving him a very stern stare.

He announced how he would obey and he got up to leave.

"Please, don't give up on her."

Hesitating at the door, he turned to see her sitting, still staring at where he once was.

"What are you talking about?" His tone was curious, but he grew more nervous, "This is the first time I've heard of this Komori."

Chie-sensei merely turned to him and smiled softly.

"If you say so, Enishi-san."

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><p>The man slowly made his way to Komori's house, knowing he wouldn't succeed. He was still in shock at Chie-sensei's knowledge about who he was, but then again, she herself was a mystery, as only the students were "alone" in the real world.<p>

"Ah! Pink Supervisor!"

He turned to the cry of joy and found Kafuka Fuu'ra running towards him with a large smile on her face. Even after she ran so fast to reach him, she wasn't breathing very hard.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" She reached into her jacket pocket and pulled something out.

"For you!"

Slowly, he let whatever was in her hand into his. He didn't expect any sort of gift from her and was a little unprepar-

It was 50 yen.

"I told you..." He muttered, staring at her exasperated, "...not to call me that. I'm Itoshiki-sensei."

"How about..." Putting a finger on her chin as she though scared the man, "Zetsubou-sensei-!"

"ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

Kafuka only smiled wider as he screamed in despair.

"Anyways, what are you doing here?" He sighed as he asked.

"Me? I live in the area."

"Oh? Is that so?" He knew that Kafuka probably couldn't show him her house.

He left without saying goodbye. Unfortunately for him, she followed closely behind.

Too close for comfort.

"Why," Turning suddenly, she bumped into him. He looked into her ever present smile, "are you following me?"

"Where are you going, Pink Supervisor?" She was about to reach into her pocket, but he started walking away.

"I have to visit one of your classmates. Turns out, there's a hikikomori in the class and I have to go convince her that-"

"Nonsense!" Sh exclaimed loudly, "There's no way someone like that lives so close to me!"

He looked at her incredulously, "Pardon?"

"She must be a zashiki-warashi!"

He rubbed his forehead with his palm as he continued his path to Komori's house, Kafuka following him.

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><p>They stood in front of Komori's house. It was an average looking house, but he knew what awaited him inside.<p>

"Hello! My name is Kafuka Fuu'ra! I'm here with my sensei to visit Komori-chan!"

He resisted the urge to bury his head in his hands long enough to see Komori's father open the door and be greeted by Kafuka.

"Oh? Her classmate and her teacher? Please, come in, come in!" Komori's father opened the door and they entered, taking their shoes off before proceeding further into the house.

Her room wasn't that far from the front door. Her father knocked four times on the door.

"Komori-chan? Your teacher and a classmate has come to-"

"Shut up, you fucking baldie! I don't want to be bothered!"

"Komori! Please don't speak to me that-!"

"I told you to leave me alone, you bastard!"

The man's attention was drawn away from the argument as Kafuka pulled on his kimono's sleeves.

"Pst! Pink Supervisor!" Her voice being of normal volume as she tried to whisper to him, "I think this is wrong!"

"Wrong? What do you mean?" Being through this scene many times had left him desperate, so he was willing to listen to any ideas.

"Being a zashiki-warashi, it would be terrible fortune for the house if she were to leave! So, we should do our best to keep her here!"

The man silently contemplated the plan. The situation was very serious. If he couldn't get the student to come to the school, her spirit would eventually be devoured...

"Alright." He agreed to her plan, "tell me what we should do."

She gave him a smaller, but more serene smile. For once, he actually believed that she would help him.

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><p>He regretted ever trusting the ghost known as Kafuka Fuu'ra as he found himself falling from the roof with a noose around his neck.<p>

Her plan had been to keep Komori in her room and make sure she would never get out. How she would get food or water was left out of the plan, but the man knew that wouldn't be a problem.

Kafuka would board the door to her room and he would put bars on her window. How Kafuka had planks of wood with her was a mystery, but it wouldn't be good to question this world. Her window was a bit too high off the ground, and unfortunately Komori's father didn't have a ladder. He didn't even bother questioning why the man was willing to board his daughter in her room.

It wasn't too big of a problem. The man always carried some rope in his suicide kit.

Using his noose, he was able to lower himself to the window. Or, he would have been able to do that, but instead, he slipped and his noose, which had knots on both ends, slipped around his neck and he hung himself.

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><p>He survived. His neck had become strong enough to not break after doing this many times in the past, and the knot was loose enough so he wouldn't suffocate.<p>

Recovering from his almost accidental suicide, he noticed that the window was opened and a girl who's hair covered her face was trembling before the window. He could hear the pounding of a hammer on the other side of the door at the opposite end of the room.

He couldn't help but scream, "What if I had died?!" Hoping that the ever optimistic girl could hear him.

This had an immediate effect on the frightened girl as she tried to open her door in vain. He watched as she frantically tried to pull the door open before picking her t.v up and, with considerable strength, throw it through her door. The rope that had been tied to his neck reached its limit and snapped, sending him to the ground.

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><p>He quickly picked himself up and ran to the front door. Hearing a terrified scream, he quickened his pace. The girl's father was nowhere to be found as he passed Kafuka and a bunch of creepy dolls that covered the walls as well as part of the floor.<p>

Entering the girl's room, he found a small figure covered in a blanket and crying. At the sound of his footsteps on the floor, she started begging to be left alone.

"Please...!" Her cries got louder as he approached her, "...just...just leave me alone!"

She was nearly hysterical when he knelt down, and she froze in fear as he pulled her hair away from her face.

His mind went blank and the only word in his mind was 'beautiful'. Her alabaster complexion, her light brown eyes that shined back frightfully, and her small shivers of fright gave her a pitiable, helpless look that sent shivers down his spine.

"R-Really?"

He almost cursed, realizing that he had said the word aloud. Though he was embarrassed, he noticed that her shaking had ceased and her eyes were now looking into his own.

"Really." He had to take advantage of this new development. This was the first time he spoke to her, face to face, and she hadn't insulted him, "Your skin is very beautiful. In fact..." He pulled a small notebook out from his kimono, "I'm adding you to my "potential double suicide partner" list."

After writing the events that led up to this moment, he put it away and started to walk out.

"I hope you see you again." He mentioned before leaving the room.

She muttered "sensei" so quietly that he almost missed it before leaving the house with one occupant with Kafuka.

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><p>Mikoto entered the cafeteria, finding his brother looking over a huge pile of papers that littered one of the table tops. He watched as his brother went over many of the folders and files, seemingly searching for something.<p>

The doctor put a hand on his shoulder and smirked as the man jumped.

"Mikoto! I...I didn't know you were here..."

The doctor made his way over to the other side, looking at the papers before taking a seat.

"I just got here. Seems like I always get here just after you get out."

The man continued rifling through the papers as Mikoto picked a random folder up.

"...Kiri Komori. These are your student's files?"

The man stopped his search and looked at his brother with an eager glint in his weary eyes.

"Yes. This is their personal information, and you happen to have the one I was looking for-"

The man reached out to grab it, but the doctor pulled it away.

"Why are you looking through their information? Did something happen?"

"Yes. Komori has finally opened up to me and she comes to class regularly. Though, she hides in the school."

"Hides in the school? Isn't that a little dangerous?"

"No." The doctor wasn't quick enough to move the folder away when the man lunged for it, "They're actually safest when they're at school. As long as they're there, the spirits can be exorcised."

Mikoto noticed the urgency in his brother's movements.

"What's wrong? If she's there, why are you-?"

"She's safe there, but that doesn't mean I'm safe there when she's there."

"That makes no sense. What danger does a little girl pose to you?"

The man looked up from the folder, and he slowly handed it to the doctor.

Mikoto opened the folder and quickly scanned the papers for information that could help him understand what could make his brother so sca-

"Attachment issues? Hikikomori? This is that girl that slowly starved herself to death, isn't it?"

The man didn't respond.

"I'll take your silence as a "yes". This only lists how she died, but not why. I assume you know the story?"

"Yes, I do. Before her...passing, she lived with her father and step-mother. Her biological mother had died giving birth to her, but shortly after she turned 18, her father died in a work related accident. The girl became distraught, saying that she wouldn't leave until her father came back. Her step-mother left her in that house, saying that the man's will left the house to her."

Mikoto listened patiently before handing the folder back.

"Why didn't someone remove her from the house? Surely, the girl had other living relatives?"

"No. She didn't. Nobody knew what her condition was until tax collectors came to see what was wrong. The police became involved, and they entered the house. There, they found a girl barely clinging onto her life."

"Barely?"

"I know you know that Kafuka was the only reason why she was alive. She kept asking for her father at the hospital before we came and brought her here. If we left her there, the door would have opened and, well, it was a hospital. Who knows what would have happened if more spirits came through."

"You still haven't answered my question. How could such a girl be dangerous?"

He noted the tension in his brother's muscles and how he seemed more exhausted than before.

"She's...very attached. I can't let my guard down when she gets possessed. Kafuka saved me a few times, but the more she possess the girl, the more attached she gets."

"What could she do to you?"

"...Many things."

"That really doesn't answer my question..."

The man sighed, before trying to get up.

"In that place, she's much stronger than me. It's...unpleasant when she wants me to be with her. Even more so when I stay near her for too long. She's better than the others at times, and she's the one least effected by the other spirits, but she's a very forceful young girl."

"...You look worse than before, Enishi."

"I feel worse than before, Mikoto. I just hope my body lasts until I can save them."

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><p><strong>Hope you all enjoyed! I know this section doesn't have many stories, and that mine are never quite creative, but I hope it was entertaining!<br>**


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